In one of my classes this semester (MGT 537B: "The Executive Mind II - Mastering Reactions"), I've been required to keep a log of things I appreciate in my life. Here are the words of the actual assignment:
Project B
In our first module, we practiced "re-newing attention". Many people reported that the exercise awoke a sense of wonder and appreciation for the positive and healthy aspects of the work and home life that they had previously taken for granted. This practice builds on that exercise.
As we start Project B, which is a reorienting of attention to the things going well in life, begin each day with a list of 10 things you appreciate in your life. Simply write the first 10 things that come to mind, without editing. They don't have to be deep or profound and no one else will see the list beside you.
Unless, of course, one decides to put the list for the past week up on a public blog. I've found the exercise clarifying and provocative. Is there a qualitative difference, for instance, between appreciating a transient object (like an item of food) and a less transient person, like my spouse? Is appreciation the same emotion as gratitude? (Not quite. "Gratitude" implies that something tangible has been given and suggests a greater sense of locality and presentness. "Appreciation" to me suggests a more ongoing emotion, a recognition of the richness of life.) Can I feel appreciation for something long past? (Yes, I would argue so, and my list reflects this sentiment -- because many things in the past have left their luminous and indelible imprints on me, which I savor and sometimes rely on for strength and wisdom in dark times.)
So here's my list, in no particular order. There are 70 items on this list, reflecting seven days' worth of logging.
1. Good sushi (but only salmon and tuna, please, and no exotic fish like fugu)
2. My new Kenneth Cole shoes
3. Earl Grey tea
4. Strawberries in season (as they are now)
5. Ripe mangoes (especially the South Asian types)
6. Our "little green house" (as my children call it) in Claremont.
7. Friends who keep me sane and remind me of my limitations and my dreams.
8. My new Honda Stream waiting for us in Singapore.
9. My faith (for the last 20 years)
10. My parents, who patiently endured my angst, pride and self-will
11. Disneyland and Disney's California Adventure
12. The ability to play the piano
13. The ability to rollerblade
14. The San Gabriel mountains that I can see here in Claremont
15. The flowers blooming now riotously in my back and front yards
16. My job and recent promotion
17. Singing
18. Thai massage
19. Spaghetti with meatballs
20. My haircut from Bliss Salon in Claremont
21. Claremont United Methodist Nursery School
22. The towpath by Lake Carnegie in Princeton
23. The view from my living room in Singapore
24. My laptop
25. My lefthandedness
26. Fiona, who reminds me who I really am when I have trouble remembering
27. Joshua and Emma, who think I am Superman, a horse, a cook, a gardener and a racecar driver all in one
28. Skiing in Vermont and Colorado
29. Calvin Klein
30. Yosemite National Park
31. My new, extra-wide running shoes (no more blisters)
32. Singapore Airlines
33. Cable TV
34. Broadband wi-fi
35. The seasons
36. Costco
37. www.pandora.com
38. Wee Nam Kee chicken rice (from Novena, Singapore)
39. My teachers, whose examples I try to emulate when I teach: Braema Mathi, Antoine Monti, Diana Fuss, Leslie Foster, Derek Trueman, Esther Schor, and all my patient Chinese teachers who had to deal with me
40. That people are now (finally) paying more attention to fuel efficiency
41. Kindred Spirit and PEF at Princeton
42. Bill and Debbie Boyce
43. Bill and Debbie Williamson
44. My trusty, faithful Tag Heuer watch
45. Changi Village and Changi Spit in Singapore
46. Great mechanical pencils with HB graphite (which I've used for most of my writing for the last 15 years)
47. God's immeasurable grace to me
48. My beloved teak four-poster bed and armchairs in Singapore
49. Philip Yancey
50. iTunes
51. "The Wasteland" and "The Four Quartets"
52. East Coast Park (Singapore)
53. Chocolate
54. My new suit
55. The woods of the Institute of Advanced Study at Princeton
56. My trusty Toyotas - first, the Vios, and now, the Sienna
57. Ice cream
58. Netflix, which has allowed me to watch great movies like "Notes on a Scandal" and "Munich"
59. Rollerblading in Pasir Ris, Bedok Reservoir and East Coast Park
60. MercyMe
61. The Bible (and though I know I shouldn't play favorites, I especially like the letters to Timothy, the Gospel of John and the Psalms)
62. Rich Mullins (especially "Bound to Come Some Trouble")
63. My swimming trunks
64. That I have a pleasant walk to school
65. Elizabeth Bishop
66. The "weekend" section of the Los Angeles Times
67. www.addall.com
68. C S Lewis
69. The churches I've gone to: Changi Baptist, Westerly Road, Baseline Community
70. Clean and Clear's zit-busting gel
So there it is. I officially appreciate all these things, people, experiences, and lessons. Thank God for all of them.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Head in the Clouds, Feet on the Ground
J looked at the shape of his half-eaten egg tart this morning and said, "Look, Dad! A couch."
To which, E responded in a slightly annoyed tone of voice, "Noooo, egg tart!!"
To which, E responded in a slightly annoyed tone of voice, "Noooo, egg tart!!"
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Quiet Days
This is what we do to amuse ourselves on days when the kids have no school and I have no bible study; when we are at loose ends.
On The Seventh Day
Sing to the King
Sing to the King who is coming to reign
Glory to Jesus the Lamb that was slain
Life and salvation, His empire shall bring
Joy to the nations when Jesus is King!
Come let us sing a song
A song declaring we belong to Jesus
He is all we need
Lift up a heart of praise
Sing now with voices raised to Jesus
Sing to the King
For his returning we watch and we pray
We will be ready the dawn of that day
We'll join in singing with all the redeemed
Satan is vanquished and Jesus is King!
Sing to the King who is coming to reign
Glory to Jesus the Lamb that was slain
Life and salvation, His empire shall bring
Joy to the nations when Jesus is King!
Come let us sing a song
A song declaring we belong to Jesus
He is all we need
Lift up a heart of praise
Sing now with voices raised to Jesus
Sing to the King
For his returning we watch and we pray
We will be ready the dawn of that day
We'll join in singing with all the redeemed
Satan is vanquished and Jesus is King!
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Palm Springs
Our short trip to Palm Springs was defined mainly by the amount of time the kids spent in the swimming pool. It was hot weather, so the pool was a great way to cool off. It was also the first time the kids got to try on floaties (as J called them), which we had borrowed from some friends. J, in particular, was a lot more comfortable in the water because he had the floaties on his arm.
The float was fun even on dry land.
When not swimming, we visited The Living Desert, which was basically a zoo set in the desert, with desert animals. So so hot. Right near the entrance is a huge model train set-up. We didn't know about it, so we hadn't mentioned it to J at all. But when he saw it... Let's just say that he was so excited, he peed in his pants. And I mean that in the most literal sense.
Other fun things that J got to try: rock climbing! He's still too little, but he was willing to give it a try so we let him.
Signing off
The float was fun even on dry land.When not swimming, we visited The Living Desert, which was basically a zoo set in the desert, with desert animals. So so hot. Right near the entrance is a huge model train set-up. We didn't know about it, so we hadn't mentioned it to J at all. But when he saw it... Let's just say that he was so excited, he peed in his pants. And I mean that in the most literal sense.
Other fun things that J got to try: rock climbing! He's still too little, but he was willing to give it a try so we let him.
Signing off
Monday, March 24, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Winning at the highest cost
Every year, International Place at the Claremont Colleges gets students and community volunteers to put together an international festival to showcase the various countries represented here. This year, for the first time in several years, Singapore will have a booth at the festival. I managed to rally about seven or eight Singaporean graduate and undergraduate students, and we will be serving chicken curry, and iced fruit cocktail. (If you're Singaporean, you won't need to ask what that is. If you're not, don't bother to ask. Just come and try it out.)
Two weeks ago, I placed an order with Prima Taste in Singapore for enough of its Singapore curry paste and spices to feed about 200 people. The box arrived a week ago, and it has been sitting in one corner of our house. Here's Prima Taste's description of "Singapore Curry": "Traders and immigrants during the early days of Singapore brought curry from India. With cross-cultural influences thriving in our multi-racial society, the dish has evolved into many versions and styles of cooking. The Singapore Curry boasts a smooth rich gravy infused with coconut milk, and a delightful aroma that will surely whet one's appetite!"
That got me hungry!
And it also got me thinking: what we have in that box in the corner of our house reminds me of our wonderful human capacity to adapt, to absorb new experiences, sights and tastes, and to create out of these experiences something new. My own convoluted cultural DNA bears that truth, in a slightly different way. My grandparents were impoverished farmers and fishermen from southern China who dared to dream of a different life and came to Singapore. My parents grew up in a British colony with British teachers, sang the national anthems of Great Britain, Malaysia, Japan (in my father's case), and finally, Singapore, and spoke English, Malay, Cantonese, Hokkien and some Mandarin. I grew up in an independent, sovereign Singapore, studied English and American writers, and went to the US for college, where I learnt to speak Russian (and where I began to regret not becoming a better Mandarin speaker).
It almost seems to me that as human beings, we need to absorb new things, to adapt, to integrate, to explore, and to create. To seek out, as my grandparents did a century ago, new horizons of experience, new worlds of meaning. To assimilate, as my parents did, different cultures, different perspectives, into the plenitude of their own identities. We are always seeking.
Two weeks ago, I placed an order with Prima Taste in Singapore for enough of its Singapore curry paste and spices to feed about 200 people. The box arrived a week ago, and it has been sitting in one corner of our house. Here's Prima Taste's description of "Singapore Curry": "Traders and immigrants during the early days of Singapore brought curry from India. With cross-cultural influences thriving in our multi-racial society, the dish has evolved into many versions and styles of cooking. The Singapore Curry boasts a smooth rich gravy infused with coconut milk, and a delightful aroma that will surely whet one's appetite!"
That got me hungry!
And it also got me thinking: what we have in that box in the corner of our house reminds me of our wonderful human capacity to adapt, to absorb new experiences, sights and tastes, and to create out of these experiences something new. My own convoluted cultural DNA bears that truth, in a slightly different way. My grandparents were impoverished farmers and fishermen from southern China who dared to dream of a different life and came to Singapore. My parents grew up in a British colony with British teachers, sang the national anthems of Great Britain, Malaysia, Japan (in my father's case), and finally, Singapore, and spoke English, Malay, Cantonese, Hokkien and some Mandarin. I grew up in an independent, sovereign Singapore, studied English and American writers, and went to the US for college, where I learnt to speak Russian (and where I began to regret not becoming a better Mandarin speaker).
It almost seems to me that as human beings, we need to absorb new things, to adapt, to integrate, to explore, and to create. To seek out, as my grandparents did a century ago, new horizons of experience, new worlds of meaning. To assimilate, as my parents did, different cultures, different perspectives, into the plenitude of their own identities. We are always seeking.
*
It is Easter Sunday today. Easter reminds me that God sought me out. He undertook the search, and he turned the world upside down to find me. Consider these words from Edmund Spenser's "Easter Morning":
Most glorious Lord of life, that on this day,
Didst make Thy triumph over death and sin,
And, having harrowed hell, didst bring away
Captivity thence captive, us to win.
God turned the order of things upside down to win me back to him. The writer Anne Rice describes the Maker dying on a Roman cross as "the great inversion". God paid the full price -- and more -- for me, to adopt me into his family. As Dietrich Bonhoeffer puts it in his classic articulation of "costly grace",
Costly grace is the hidden treasure in the field, for the sake of which people go and sell everything they have. . . It is costly, because it calls to discipleship; it is grace, because it calls us to follow Jesus Christ. It is costly, because it cost people their lives; it is grace, because it gives them their lives. . . Above all, grace is costly, because it was costly to God, because it costs God the life of God's son . . . And because the life of God's son was not too costly for God to give for our lives.
God "won" me at the highest cost. Because of that, I have God's great promise of new life. God's promise to me is a creative, and re-creative one. Just as God confounded the natural order of things and neutered the mighty power of death on Easter, He will do the same with me. I will die, but I will live. I like the explanation by the theologian Michael Jinkins: "The faith we have in God to raise us up on the last day is the faith we have that God's ways are higher than humanity's ways and that all the subordinate powers that try to usurp the place of God will finally be subdued, that even the mighty power of death will be relativized by the power of God to re-create us from the dust of the earth. The resurrection of the body is the proclamation of God's creative and re-creative power over all inauthentic claims to power".
God adopted me at the highest cost, so that even though I die, I will live again.
It is Easter Sunday today. Easter reminds me that God sought me out. He undertook the search, and he turned the world upside down to find me. Consider these words from Edmund Spenser's "Easter Morning":
Most glorious Lord of life, that on this day,
Didst make Thy triumph over death and sin,
And, having harrowed hell, didst bring away
Captivity thence captive, us to win.
God turned the order of things upside down to win me back to him. The writer Anne Rice describes the Maker dying on a Roman cross as "the great inversion". God paid the full price -- and more -- for me, to adopt me into his family. As Dietrich Bonhoeffer puts it in his classic articulation of "costly grace",
Costly grace is the hidden treasure in the field, for the sake of which people go and sell everything they have. . . It is costly, because it calls to discipleship; it is grace, because it calls us to follow Jesus Christ. It is costly, because it cost people their lives; it is grace, because it gives them their lives. . . Above all, grace is costly, because it was costly to God, because it costs God the life of God's son . . . And because the life of God's son was not too costly for God to give for our lives.
God "won" me at the highest cost. Because of that, I have God's great promise of new life. God's promise to me is a creative, and re-creative one. Just as God confounded the natural order of things and neutered the mighty power of death on Easter, He will do the same with me. I will die, but I will live. I like the explanation by the theologian Michael Jinkins: "The faith we have in God to raise us up on the last day is the faith we have that God's ways are higher than humanity's ways and that all the subordinate powers that try to usurp the place of God will finally be subdued, that even the mighty power of death will be relativized by the power of God to re-create us from the dust of the earth. The resurrection of the body is the proclamation of God's creative and re-creative power over all inauthentic claims to power".
God adopted me at the highest cost, so that even though I die, I will live again.
*
A few weeks ago, we reached a major decision: our next child will come to us through adoption. Paul's letter to church in Ephesus reminds me, I am adopted too. These following words will be my first love letter to our child:
My Father moved mountains for me. He cast off all he had to find me, because he knew that I was his and belonged to no one else.
Like my Father, I know that you belong to no one else but us. You are ours. Even before you were born, God intended you for us.
You are ours. And because I am unshakeably convinced of who you are and to whom you belong, I will move mountains to seek you out. I will empty myself for you. I will pursue you, because you are mine. Anything that stands in the way I will obliterate. Because you are mine, and I will give everything I have for you.
Welcome home.
My Father moved mountains for me. He cast off all he had to find me, because he knew that I was his and belonged to no one else.
Like my Father, I know that you belong to no one else but us. You are ours. Even before you were born, God intended you for us.
You are ours. And because I am unshakeably convinced of who you are and to whom you belong, I will move mountains to seek you out. I will empty myself for you. I will pursue you, because you are mine. Anything that stands in the way I will obliterate. Because you are mine, and I will give everything I have for you.
Welcome home.
Easter
"Don't be alarmed," he said. "You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here..." - Mark 16:6
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Graffiti
Playing with sidewalk chalk.
It was not too long before E decided that it would be more fun to colour her body.On another note, we sold off our couch today, and will make do with one of our extra mattresses for the next eight weeks. The kids get to sprawl, so they're happy. E lost no time in making herself comfortable. As she settled in, I could hear her muttering to herself, "Wok wee-wee." (Translation: Watch TV.)
Egg Hunt
Good Friday passed by with nary a whisper this year. There wasn't any mention of it on the Christian radio station that we listen to, and K had class Friday night so we weren't able to go for Good Friday service at church. We are looking forward to our Easter service tomorrow morning though.
K had school all day today. The rest of us kept busy though. I brought the kids to church for their annual pancake breakfast and Easter egg hunt. Do I even need to say how much fun the day turned out to be for the kids?
Here they are waiting impatiently for the adults to finish breakfast and for the egg hunt to start. Then off they went...
Checking out their loot.
K had school all day today. The rest of us kept busy though. I brought the kids to church for their annual pancake breakfast and Easter egg hunt. Do I even need to say how much fun the day turned out to be for the kids?
Here they are waiting impatiently for the adults to finish breakfast and for the egg hunt to start. Then off they went...
Checking out their loot.It has been a day of sugar aplenty. And this is with me already rationing out their candy.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Happy Birthday, Little Man!
What a way to wake up in the morning, to be told that the day you've waited for and counted down to, has finally arrived!
J was so happy he started singing the birthday song the moment we woke him up for school this morning. After which he instructs me to sing the birthday song to him. He was too excited to have breakfast.
Upon reaching school, he proceeds to inform EVERYONE he meets that it is his birthday. Literally, everyone. So he gets plenty of birthday wishes, from his teachers and the parents of his classmates.
As a treat, I made chocolate chip cookies for his class. (The cookies had to be dairy-free and nut-free, because of allergies that his classmates have. It wasn't taste-free though! It was a great cookie mix. Lurve it.) And the kids sing the birthday song for him. Miss S tells me how picky he is during snack time in class. Apparently, he religiously rejects yoghurt, pretzels and all manner of fruit.
De rigeur: birthday balloons, birthday song (two from Singapore, one in school and several at home), trains and birthday cupcakes (which the kids helped to bake!).
This is what anticipation looks like. We had the kids close their eyes before we took the gift-wrapped presents out.
The spoils: Geotrax from Grandma and Grandpa, Wordworld magnet playset from Kong-kong and Ah-ma and magnetic building blocks from Mom and Dad. He has been waiting for his new toys for so so long.
The kids get to stir the cupcake mix and decorate them (once I've poured the batter into the cases). It wasn't too long before they figured they could eat the sprinkles directly.
As per J's instructions (I want a tall tall tallest cake, Mom!), I had to make a pyramid out of the cupcakes. No frosting this time because the kids didn't really go for it the last time around. I was mostly worried about getting through the birthday song without the pyramid collapsing.
All in all, he had a great day. As bedtime drew near, he kept saying, "My birthday's almost over." Very wistfully.
J was so happy he started singing the birthday song the moment we woke him up for school this morning. After which he instructs me to sing the birthday song to him. He was too excited to have breakfast.
Upon reaching school, he proceeds to inform EVERYONE he meets that it is his birthday. Literally, everyone. So he gets plenty of birthday wishes, from his teachers and the parents of his classmates.
As a treat, I made chocolate chip cookies for his class. (The cookies had to be dairy-free and nut-free, because of allergies that his classmates have. It wasn't taste-free though! It was a great cookie mix. Lurve it.) And the kids sing the birthday song for him. Miss S tells me how picky he is during snack time in class. Apparently, he religiously rejects yoghurt, pretzels and all manner of fruit.De rigeur: birthday balloons, birthday song (two from Singapore, one in school and several at home), trains and birthday cupcakes (which the kids helped to bake!).
This is what anticipation looks like. We had the kids close their eyes before we took the gift-wrapped presents out.
The spoils: Geotrax from Grandma and Grandpa, Wordworld magnet playset from Kong-kong and Ah-ma and magnetic building blocks from Mom and Dad. He has been waiting for his new toys for so so long.
The kids get to stir the cupcake mix and decorate them (once I've poured the batter into the cases). It wasn't too long before they figured they could eat the sprinkles directly.
Birthday cake
As per J's instructions (I want a tall tall tallest cake, Mom!), I had to make a pyramid out of the cupcakes. No frosting this time because the kids didn't really go for it the last time around. I was mostly worried about getting through the birthday song without the pyramid collapsing.All in all, he had a great day. As bedtime drew near, he kept saying, "My birthday's almost over." Very wistfully.
Little Man
One day old
One year old
Two years old
Three years old
Today, four years old***
Today you turn four. How did we get here so fast?
As you get bigger, will you remember how excited you were, and what a great day you had? I will. I will remember how you woke up with a smile on your face, how you started singing the birthday song to yourself (Happy birthday to me!), how excited you were to tell everyone that it was your birthday. I will remember how happy you were with your presents and your birthday cake. And how much you wanted to make the cake yourself (What a great idea, I think we should do this every year. The cake will always taste better because you made it.)
When you came into our lives four years ago, you rocked our world. Truly. Your dad and I learnt the meaning of sleep deprivation. Basically, it meant getting hooked on coffee (to your dad) and walking around in a sleep-deprivation-induced haze (to me).
What else have we learnt? Let's see. I've learnt or am starting to learn way more about trains, dinosaurs and race cars than I ever cared for. I've learnt how much a child can make you laugh. And how the best sound in the world is a good belly laugh coming from your child. I've learnt that I can feel tired just from watching you run around and play. I've learnt that even though I get bored watching a train go around a track, you don't!
I wish I had a big brother like you when I was growing up. Already, I see how you try to protect Mei-mei when we discipline her. I think she's lucky.
Don't grow up too fast, my little man, I like it here. Happy birthday, sweet boy.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Pre-celebration
To kick off J's birthday celebration, we brought the kids to Kidspace Children's Museum in Pasadena today. J had had an incredibly fun time at the kids' tricycle track the last time we were there - and it was just as much of a hit this time around. He loves speed! And his testosterone is kicking in already. I watched as he and another (bigger) boy eyed each other, and picked up the pace of their pedalling, so that they ended up racing with each other.
Seriously, is this not the cutest swimsuit ever ever ever???
E had a go on the littlest tricycle they had, her little legs can just about manage a couple of rounds. We'll have to get more practice in when we get back home to Singapore!
My water baby had a ball with the water play parts. She never made it indoors the whole time we were there, she was kept happily busy with all the outdoor water play structures. There even was a small stream that she was hiking through quite happily. J, the water-averse one, was doing all he can to keep his feet dry.
Seriously, is this not the cutest swimsuit ever ever ever???E had a go on the littlest tricycle they had, her little legs can just about manage a couple of rounds. We'll have to get more practice in when we get back home to Singapore!
My water baby had a ball with the water play parts. She never made it indoors the whole time we were there, she was kept happily busy with all the outdoor water play structures. There even was a small stream that she was hiking through quite happily. J, the water-averse one, was doing all he can to keep his feet dry.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Friday, March 14, 2008
Air Kak, My Tuh
This is J just about to have his hair cut today. See previous post for the after pics. We think he's incredibly adorable!
No, E did not have her hair cut. (Not long enough, methinks.) But true to form, she insisted on it once she saw J having his hair cut.
"Air kak, air kak," she'd say. Then more insistently, "My tur, my tur. Air kak!"
No, E did not have her hair cut. (Not long enough, methinks.) But true to form, she insisted on it once she saw J having his hair cut.
"Air kak, air kak," she'd say. Then more insistently, "My tur, my tur. Air kak!"
Online Gamer
J has discovered online games at www.nickjr.com. Right now, his favourites are games involving The Backyardigans, simply because they involve race cars and spy missions.
He grows more adept at using the touch pad each time.
He grows more adept at using the touch pad each time.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Diamonds From My Son
I was flipping through a catalogue this evening with J next to me. He caught sight of a diamond ring on one of the pages, pointed to it, and exclaimed, "That's it, Mom! I want to buy that for your birthday next time."
Pause.
Then he continues in a woeful tone, shaking his head, "But I don't know how to get it."
When will he know that he, and his sweet generous heart, is the gift for me?
Pause.
Then he continues in a woeful tone, shaking his head, "But I don't know how to get it."
When will he know that he, and his sweet generous heart, is the gift for me?
Monday, March 10, 2008
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